Or – why you should only do One.Thing.At.A.TimeDISCLAIMER: This may only be funny to the two people involved. For those of you left scratching your head and muttering “huh?” when you get to the end, I apologize.
For someone who makes their living writing, sometimes I’m not very good at it all. I mean that quite literally. My handwriting is shocking, especially if I’m tired or the arthritis in my wrists is playing up. And while I am (usually) an excellent speller, I am A Very Bad Typist.
Unlike my handwriting, my typing does not vary according to my fatigue level. It is simply bad. I have in fact an extremely well developed ‘backspace’ action – to be honest it is one of the keys I can find blindfolded, in the dark without having to think….
What I should never do, however is try to type with a touchscreen or while moving or a combination thereof. Should the day ever come that I am the proud owner of a iPad, you can guarantee I will be one of the real geeks with a wireless keyboard – at the request of anybody who has to read Facebook updates, Tweets, or LinkedIn messages.
Multitasking is overrated
This was proved today when I tried to post a Facebook update, be romantic (what? it happens), and display my admiration for Springsteen – from the touchscreen of my iPhone, while waiting on a moving dock for my ferry home. As the ferry docked, thus making the dock move even more, I raced to finish my transcription of a verse from Springsteen’s Land of Hope and Dreams, get my ticket clicked and find a seat.
Seeing the problem yet?
“You must be a whizz.”
As I slid into my seat the lady across the table smiled and said “gosh you type so fast on that, you must be a real whizz.” That alone should have made me sit up and pay attention, but no I was too busy basking in the glow of her admiration. Right up until Patti sent me a message on Facebook asking if I had meant to make her laugh or did I need to install spell check.
Oh no; this couldn’t be good. I clearly had a spectacular typo in the middle of a public, romantic, Springsteen message. Did I mention public? On Facebook? I tapped on the screen – that I can do without too much disaster – and pulled up the post. And promptly dissolved into loud giggles (my ferry companions are quite used to my weird behaviour – but that’s another story).
Bug in the USA?
What should have read ‘Big wheels roll through fields where sunlight streams’ read Bug wheels through fields…BUG? Where did BUG come from? It took most of the remaining trip to navigate the delete buttons, find the lyrics on a website, copy them, paste them, and repost the status. This time it had nothing to do with the ferry and everything to do with my manic giggles.
Quit while you’re ahead
Still sniggering to myself I sent Patti a DM designed to deliberately make her smile this time. What I meant to write to my fellow Springsteen fan was “You know given some of the things I’ve been known think about where that man is concerned, it could really have been so much worse lol.” By the time I had managed that, it was time to disembark and I thought no more of it, until a chime told me Patti had replied. I clicked on my phone and before I could read her reply saw what I had actually written: “You know given some of the things I’ve been known think about where that man is concerned, it could really have been south worse lol”
Yes folks I am a professional writer and editor. Scary isn’t it?
The last time I managed to get in here, was October 16. That can’t be possible. It simply can’t. It was last week I tell you, last week. It has to be last week because if it wasn’t…well that means I haven’t done any writing in a month. Yikes.
I am relieved to say, however, that I have been working hard at interviewing and reading. And preparing to launch a new website – but we’ll talk more about that tomorrow. Yes we will, I will be back tomorrow dear reader: I promise.
So what have I been up to for the past month? Well for a start I’ve been turning into a city worker. A what, I hear you ask. A city worker. How do you know you’re a city worker? Oh come on you know you want to know. When I first started working in the city I was - well not shy, more like reserved (they are not the same thing at all….). If the crossing light flicked to green while I was still half way down the block, I just shrugged and waited for the next one. I had the right change for the bus and got a ticket each trip. My phone was tucked neatly away at the bottom of my tote bag with my book and crossword collection, raincoat, and spare cardigan – not to be confused with my handbag which was for carrying things like wallets and spare lipstick. NOW , I carry a handbag in which you easily fit the contents of a small shipping container. In my case it contains notebooks, my Kobo, a mini netbook, an umbrella, my makeup case, roughly a thousand pens (none of which I can find when I need them), business cards, a reusable take out coffee cup. The totebag is gone – replaced by my laptop bag . And of course my iPhone - which I’m usually checking, answering or updating while I’m racing for the crossing despite the light flashing only 17 seconds left. It’s amazing how fast you can run in heels – but I digress. The quiet “one to Ponsonby” as I drop the change in the bowl has been replaced with a frantic swipe of my HOP card as I swing on the bus as it begins to pull away from the stop. I can smack the “THIS STOP” button with ease and confidence, negotiate the rush hour traffic while sipping hot trim white from Esquires and plan the family outing while sidestepping pavement cafe diners. City worker.
Some mornings its exhilarating and fun. Those are usually the mornings when my caffeine intake is through the roof before even leaving the house. Most mornings I get to the office seriously questioning my sanity and wondering when I exchanged any thoughts of personal safety for the thrill of beating the bus door.
All of that said, this is the second night in a row I’ve actually managed to get home and do some personal writing – so could it be….dare I say it….I’m getting the hang of things? That I am actually going to be able to hold down a job AND advance my writing career? Little disorganised me?